The Looking Glass

Digging Deeper with Allison LaMarr…

Merry Christmas week!  I invite you to clear your mind from the last minute Christmas frenzy for just a brief moment with me today.  Last week we started a two-part discussion on how to step into your potential and step into your dreams in the coming year.  I’d like to wrap up that conversation today with exactly how to make it happen.

In the last edition of Digging Deeper, I challenged you to ask yourself the following questions: Am I pleased with my situation? Am I pleased with my performance and results?  Am I capable of doing more (or doing better)?  Do I have a hunger or desire to achieve more than what my current performance is producing?  Are other people counting on me?  Am I falling short, meeting or exceeding their expectations?  Are there things about my situation that frustrate me? And, as far as I’m concerned, is there anything I can do to eliminate those frustrations to clear the path for better workflow and a better outcome?

We then discussed why these questions are important for each of us to answer. Because the way we do anything in life is the way we’ll do everything in life.  Your projects are nothing more than an extension of who you are in life.  So, if your life is a mess, your business is more than likely going to follow suit.  It’s impossible to keep them separated forever.  Sooner or later, our inner character shines through to the outer results of our business.

So, what are we to do with this information?  Well, this is where the Looking Glass comes in.  My suggestion: go stand in front of a full-length mirror.  Yes, really.  And I mean this both literally and figuratively.  Have you ever stood in a full-length mirror and just stared at yourself for awhile?  I don’t know about men, but for women, this is usually a very dangerous thing to do – and something that I would normally advise against.  Because what we usually ‘see’ are all the things we don’t like about ourselves…all the flaws and weaknesses.  But for this particular exercise it will be worth it – trust me.

Let’s get the worst part over with first.  If you were to go literally stand in front of a full-length mirror right now, what would you see?  What things would jump out at you?  Stick with me here, because we are going somewhere with this.  Human nature leads us to be hypercritical of ourselves, but I’d like to ask you a question about those ‘flaws and weaknesses’ that eat at you. How long have you hated those things?  How long have you been complaining about them?  How long have you allowed them to rob you of your personal power?  You see, those things that bother us about our physical appearance (and it could be anything: weight, hair, skin, or teeth) begin to weigh on us like heavy burdens, and they become baggage that serve as a lid on our life’s accomplishments. Because an unhealthy body image can damage your self-esteem. Once you feel bad about the way you look, you may be inclined to think that you, as a person, are less capable and less worthy of achieving excellence in other areas of your life.  Of course, when we discuss it out loud in a public setting, we can clearly see the absurdity of what we’re doing to ourselves.  But left alone with our own thoughts (even subconsciously), we can really do some damage here.

We’ve discussed this briefly in the past, but it’s worth mentioning again.  We’re not going for perfection, and some of your challenges may be permanent.  But, for most people, almost every single thing that eats at us in relation to our physical appearance CAN BE FIXED – without surgery! We should perhaps also remind ourselves that we cannot complain about what we allow.  Even if it would take an entire year to fix the problem, wouldn’t it be worth it?  Imagine if one year from now, you had the hair, teeth, weight, skin, and style you were proud of!  How much more self-confident would you be?  Would that help empower you to embrace and tackle other areas of your life?  Absolutely!  Because another law of human nature is that when we look better, we feel better about ourselves.  So, let that looking glass become your best friend.  Use it as a tool to point out opportunities for growth, instead of allowing it to beat you up and tear you down.

Now before you start thinking I’m preaching about outer “beauty”, let’s take a glance into the figurative looking glass.  If you can believe it, this may be an even tougher exercise.  Because this one challenges us to face the truth on a much deeper level than just the physical realm.  This is where our character – who we are on the inside – comes into question.  And I believe this is why people are ‘quitters’ by nature.  Because, when a situation gets tough, it’s easier to walk away, or throw in the towel than it is to address the weak areas of our character.  This is why most entrepreneurs aren’t entrepreneurs for very long.  Because it’s easier to have someone else hold you accountable for your actions and decisions.  But when you can choose to hold yourself accountable, an entirely bigger, greater, and deeper level of living becomes available to you.

As we discussed, stepping into your potential requires submission, obedience, and self-discipline.  And for most people who desire excellence, but never step into their full potential, the problem lies in weak skills.  Weak “field” skills and/or weak “life” skills.   So, let’s wrap up our discussion with how to position yourself for victory and abundance in the New Year.

Remember, before you can earn the promotion, you must first outgrow your current position and your current level of character.  You outgrow your current position by mastering it. And you strengthen your character by submitting to personal growth. Only when we’re willing to hear the honest truth, accept responsibility for the weak links in the chain, and shift gears into learning, growing, and making the correcting changes where necessary, will we begin to see the kind of quantum leap growth that we desire for our life.

If every single skill that you need to succeed in life and business is a learnable, repeatable skill, how do you take on this task?  Look in the mirror. What skills are necessary to succeed in your field of life?  What skills are missing?  There is a difference between knowing and doing, and simply being aware of the necessary skills isn’t enough.  You must choose to master those skills.  Remember my challenge: Commit 2010 to skill mastery and just watch what happens!  It’s all about skill mastery. Have you mastered your particular field-required skills and the life skills we’ve discussed?  Again, if you’re not sure, just take a quick peek at your results.  They speak louder than words.

So, based on your particular field, business, or endeavor, sit down and create a list of every single skill you think you would need to become a top producer in that field, and then rank yourself currently on a scale of 1-10. Take an honest, introspective look at the life and leadership skills that are essential for you to create all-out victory, abundance, and success in your life.  This list would include things like time management, emotional management, personal and professional boundaries, communication and people skills.

When you can combine those two mastered skill sets – the field skills and the life skills – it will be like combining two sticks of dynamite in your life.  Explosive results are guaranteed.  The looking glass will tell you where to begin.  Look carefully.  Look closely.  It’s all up to you.  Let the journey to personal excellence begin.

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Skill Check

Digging Deeper with Allison LaMarr…

The week after Thanksgiving, I had the privilege of working with some amazing men and women in Springfield, Shreveport, Dallas, and New Orleans.  As I sat on the plane headed home from my last business trip in 2009, I watched the sunrise through the window and reflected on the topics of discussion from my seminars in each of those cities.  Our conversations covered a wide range of material, and they were all related in some form or fashion to successfully building (and sustaining) your own business, but an interesting theme rose out of those conversations that had nothing to do with business at all.

As you read along with me, I challenge you to consider how this applies to your particular situation. Maybe you’re a volunteer with a never-ending list of needs to meet, or a student with finals caving in all around.  You may be a business professional of some sort – either an entrepreneur or employee with specific deadlines and responsibilities to meet.  You could be a parent with a plate full of tasks and a house full of little ones counting on you each day.  Or, like many of our readers, your life could be a combination of all of the above. Whatever your day-to-day duties entail, I want you to ask yourself the following questions: Am I pleased with my situation?  Am I pleased with my performance and results?  Am I capable of doing more (or doing better)?  Do I have a hunger or desire to achieve more than what my current performance is producing?  Are other people counting on me?  Am I falling short, meeting or exceeding their expectations?  Are there things about my situation that frustrate me?  And, as far as I’m concerned, is there anything I can do to eliminate those frustrations to clear the path for better workflow and a better outcome?

Here’s why these questions are important for each of us to answer.  The projects you produce are an extension of you.  Everything you create or sign your name to is an advertisement of your workmanship. Do your “finished projects” advertise excellence or do they display the “just enough to squeak by” seal?  Like it or not, this is a testament to your own personal character.  Regardless of your background, upbringing, education, or situation, I know without a doubt that God desires abundance and victory for your life. He also planted seeds of greatness within you, and He wants to see you grow into His purpose for your life. Walking in that purpose requires submission, obedience, and self-discipline.  But, as with all things, there is a difference between knowing and doing. And for most people who desire excellence, but never step into their full potential, the problem lies in weak skills.  Weak “field” skills and/or weak “life” skills.  Before you can earn promotions in life, you must first outgrow your current position and your current level of character.  So, as 2009 draws to a close, I’d like to talk about positioning yourself for victory and abundance in the New Year.

Remember, before you can earn the promotion, you must first outgrow your current position and your current level of character.  How do you ‘outgrow your current position’?  You master it.  So, based on your particular field, business, or endeavor, sit down and create a list of every single skill you think you would need to become a top producer in that field, and then rank yourself currently on a scale of 1-10.

How about your character?  Take an honest, introspective look at the life and leadership skills that are essential for you to create all-out victory, abundance, and success in your life.  This list would include things like time management, emotional management, personal and professional boundaries, communication and people skills. How are you at building relationships?  Do people want to be a part of your projects, or do they exit as quickly as they enter?  How about your leadership skills?  You can measure this by asking this question: Do people work hard to keep their commitments to you?  Or do the people you lead seem to have a theme of flakiness?

And how about your own personal integrity?  Are you reliable? Can people count on you to keep your commitments?  Do you show up when you say you will, or have you built a reputation of excuses?  Are you an “extra mile” person, or do you have a habit of stopping short of the finish line?  How often do you operate with double standards?  In other words, do you expect certain things from others, but justify your own situation differently?  Are you quick to blame others, point fingers, and throw out excuses?  Or are you committed to being exceptional, no matter what?  Have you learned how to manage your own passion levels?  Do you know how to keep your head in the game, even as life unravels around you?  Do you know how to get unstuck when you find yourself in a rut? It’s been said that character – or integrity – is who you are when no one else is watching.  It’s not about false pretenses to make a good impression. Excellence is about doing what’s right and giving your personal best all the time, because it’s who you are on the inside.

You see, these character questions are SO important. Because the way we do anything in life is the way we’ll do everything in life.  And your business is nothing more than an extension of who you are in life.  So, if your life is a mess, your business is more than likely going to follow suit.  It’s impossible to keep them separated forever.  Sooner or later, our inner character shines through to the outer results of our business. This right here is why most entrepreneurs aren’t entrepreneurs for very long.  Because it’s easier to have someone else hold you accountable for your actions and decisions.  But when you can choose to hold yourself accountable, an entirely bigger, greater, and deeper level of living becomes available to you.

And guess what?  Every single skill that you need to succeed in life and business is a learnable, repeatable skill.  Quit holding out for luck.  As a first-century Roman philosopher once said, “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.”  But you must choose to master the necessary skills.  Commit 2010 to skill mastery and just watch what happens!  It’s all about skill mastery.  Have you mastered your particular field-required skills? Have you mastered the life skills we discussed a moment ago?  If you’re not sure, take a look at your results.  They speak louder than words.  Also, poll your family, your peers, your mentors, and your team. But be prepared for an honest answer. Only when we’re willing to hear the honest truth, accept responsibility for the weak links in the chain, and shift gears into learning, growing, and making the correcting changes where necessary, will we begin to see the kind of Quantum Leap growth that we desire for our life.

I would love nothing more than to watch you step into your potential & step into your dreams in the coming year.  But you must be the one who moves out of the passenger seat and into the driver seat of your own life.  It’s no one else’s responsibility but yours. I know you can do it, and we’ll discuss how next week.  Between now and then, I hope that you will take some time to analyze these components of your life and business as you head into 2010.

Visit us on the web at www.allisonlamarronline.com

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Leading Lady

Digging Deeper with Allison LaMarr…

As James and I make our way through my Top 10 Favorite Christmas Movies this month, I couldn’t help but republish this column from last year on the same day that I watch this particular movie.  So here goes…enjoy! Are you full swing into Christmas mode yet?  Have you been working on your holiday cheer?  Or are you fighting with the holiday hustle and bustle?  One thing I love to do to get into the Christmas spirit is to watch Christmas movies.  I have an entire list of them that I like to watch every year, but I want to discuss one in particular today.  Have you ever seen The Holiday?  I absolutely love this movie—it’s one of my favorites.  But there is one specific scene that provides a perfect fable for us if you stop and dig deep enough to uncover it, so let me tell you about it…

In the movie, Kate Winslet’s character (Iris), who is a beautiful young English woman, befriends an elderly gentleman in Hollywood named Arthur, who was an Oscar-winning screenwriter in his heyday.  Throughout the film, we watch their relationship grow and even though they may have seemed like an odd pairing to begin with, the two become great friends.  One night they go out for dinner, and over the course of the meal, Iris spills her guts about her man troubles, becoming quite emotional.  Arthur kindly listens to everything she shares and then looks across the table at her and says very softly:

Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.

At those words, she literally begins to cry in her soup and sobs out:

You’re so right. You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life!  Arthur, I’ve been going to a therapist for three years, and she’s never explained things to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.

In my opinion, this scene hits dead center with so many of our lives today.  Arthur gave Iris some extremely empowering words of wisdom, so let’s examine them a little further.  If someone were to watch a movie of your life, would you be playing the role of leading lady (or man)?  Or is it more likely that you would be found playing the role of the best friend?  Now, if deep down in your heart, your true honest desire is to play the role of the best friend in your own life, that is perfectly OK.  But for most of us, if we were to be totally honest with ourselves, that wouldn’t be the case.  So many women today want to step into the role of leading lady, but we’re just not sure how to get there.  With the chaos of our daily hustle and bustle, it seems like the years just keep slipping by and our good intentions never materialize into reality.  We set goals and miss goals, dream big dreams but live paycheck to paycheck, and promise ourselves that this will be the year, only to have the months tick by with no real progress.  How do we catch our own lucky break that will catapult us from best friend status to the leading lady limelight?  The answer is very simple, and also very familiar: we must care enough to prepare.

Let me explain with a quick review of this concept from one of our recent Digging Deeper discussions. Think back to the days of high school or college.  Do you remember being assigned an exam by your teacher, followed by the explanation that “group study” would be permitted?  Most of the time, while group study was permitted, the test itself was still an individual assignment.  So, regardless of how the rest of the “group” fared on the test, you had to be personally accountable to the information on the test in order to score well and pass the test or class, right?  Which means that at some point before test time, you had to walk away from the group and make sure that you were prepared.  Well, the same concept holds true with your business skills.  You can faithfully attend workshops, success events and seminars for eternity, but until you make the on-purpose choice to carve out some alone time, study the information and commit it to memory, and become accountable to the technical skills of your business, you may very well spend your entire life clapping only for other people’s successes.

And here is the most beautiful part: You can create anything you want in life, if you’re willing to believe in yourself, manage your emotions, master the needed skills, work hard enough, and commit to never give up until you find the solution.  Does that sound like a lot of work?  Absolutely.  But that’s the price tag for leading lady status.  You’ve seen her before…you know what she looks like: graceful as a swan.  Above the surface she’s poised, prepared, and glides with grace as she embraces her role.  But below the water, behind the scenes, she’s paddling like crazy.  She has the same obstacles and challenges that we have, she just refuses to let them drown her.  It’s time to become your own leading lady!

Visit us on the web at www.allisonlamarronline.com

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The Power of One

Digging Deeper with Allison LaMarr…

Does doubt ever creep in to your life?  Left alone with your thoughts, do you ever question the point of your efforts?  It’s something I think we all struggle with from time to time.  During those moments of vulnerability, we must remember the Power of One.

As we discussed a couple of weeks ago, depression rates are higher during the Holidays than any other time of year.  But it sadly makes sense, because many people begin to reflect on their lives during this nostalgic time of year and can’t help but notice that things haven’t turned as planned.  What if you’re middle-aged, your life has fallen apart, and you’re not even sure that you can muster the energy to even think about starting to put the pieces back together?  What if you’re just getting started in life, but you can’t seem to find you’re footing in the world?  What if life just hasn’t turned out the way you thought it would, regardless of your particular circumstances?  What do we do now?  Is it worth it to put up a fight?  Would it really make a difference and pay off?  Is it possible to make a real, lasting change?  Do we even know how to go back to square one and recreate the life we once dreamed of?

I’m going to say YES, and let me tell you the two reasons why.  First of all, I am a big believer that God isn’t going to plant a dream within your heart without giving you the ability to attain those dreams.  God planted within you the seeds of greatness!  And He also planted great big huge scary dreams within you as well.  Do you know why He didn’t give you little tiny, mediocre, easily-achievable dreams?  Because then you wouldn’t need to rely on Him with every fiber of your being to reach them!   And choosing not to settle for your current circumstances doesn’t mean that you’re ungrateful for your existing blessings.  You can have a heart full of gratitude and still know deep down that you are destined for more than your eyes can currently see.

Secondly, choosing to fight shows character.  Remember the Law of Entropy:  “Left unattended, everything naturally flows to a state of disorder”.  So keeping things in order takes work!  You must be willing to fight for what you want instead of simply settling for what you can get.

A book I recently read called The Richest Man Who Ever Lived spelled out an incredible definition of the word “diligence”, which I believe lies at the core of the Power of One.  Here is how the author defined “diligence”: “a learnable skill that combines: creative persistence, a smart-working effort rightly planned and rightly performed in a timely, efficient, and effective manner to attain a result that is pure and of the highest quality of excellence.”  The author goes onto explain that if the definition sounds complicated, it’s because true diligence involves many qualities, and that is why it’s so rare.  But, he says, before you dismiss the definition as something that’s “just not me”, you need to know that it can be you.  Anyone can become this type of a person through the choice to learn, develop, and practice the necessary skills.  The choice to develop new habits and rise above who you used to be, regardless of what the crowd – or your track record – says about you.  That is a result of the Power of One.

It’s like the butterfly effect, which you may be familiar with.  The butterfly effect is the supposed influence exerted on an entire system by one small change in initial conditions.  That is the Power of One.  One change.  One decision.  Getting started is always the hardest part.  But that one decision, managed over time, can create the reality that you’re barely daring to dream right now.

And your story doesn’t have to involve money, fame, or recognition.  Maybe your heart is burdened by a need you see around you.  One by one, people do affect change in their own little corner of the world every day.  Do you ever feel that with so much going on in the world, it would be nearly impossible to make a lasting impact?  On Thanksgiving Day, James and I spent a couple of hours working at a Salvation Army in Missouri.  The hall was overflowing with several hundred people looking for a warm meal on the holiday, and I was deeply humbled by what I witnessed.  We were making a couple of trips to the grocery store to help them stock up on much-needed supplies, so we had a conversation with the Director to find out what they specifically needed.  He shared with us that on an average day they fed 90 people who would otherwise have no food at all – and that was just in one station on one side of town.

This man went on to tell us a brief history of his particular center and the community it served.  While he was talking, I couldn’t help but notice that he probably wasn’t more than a paycheck or two away from needing help himself.  He had a very worn face with kind eyes, and he was neatly groomed even though his stained fingernails showed many years of hard labor.  The three-piece suit that he wore with pride was at least one size too big and probably 25 years old.  But he walked through that Salvation Army hall with his head held high and pride in his eyes – because he knew that he was making a difference.  One meal at a time, one person at a time, his years of diligence showed the impact of the Power of One.  As we loaded up our grocery carts and started counting quantities, it was at first disheartening to realize that all of that food was only enough to supply the center with a few days worth of meals.  But as we delivered it back to the men who eagerly unloaded the bags from our car, we realized that it did make a difference to those 90 people who wouldn’t go hungry on those upcoming days.

Remember the law of compounding interest.  And I don’t mean the compounding interest of money.  I’m referring to the compounding interest of time and choices.  You keep going even when no results are evident.  When it’s easy to get tired, frustrated, emotional, disenchanted, lose focus, get distracted, get bored, grow weak, and throw in the towel.  Instead, you simply choose to keep going.  That one choice begins the butterfly effect in your life and the world around you – the Power of One.

You press ahead, even when it seems dull or pointless.  And every time the rest of the world is starting back at zero with their “new commitment” to a “new idea”, you’re adding one more day of compounded interest, compounded effort to your endeavor.  And with nothing more than a little discipline and a willingness to make some short-term sacrifices, a few years from now your dream world can be your reality. Maybe it will mean a change to your bank account, maybe it will mean a change in your family’s future, maybe it will mean a change in another person’s hunger.  But it all starts with your decision to apply the Power of One.

Visit us on the web at www.allisonlamarronline.com

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Digging Deeper with Allison LaMarr…

Happy Thanksgiving!  We truly do have so much to be thankful for, and I am deeply grateful that you allow me to spend a few moments Digging Deeper with you each week.  As another holiday season commences, we are all likely to take a nostalgic walk down memory lane at some point over the next few weeks and wonder where the time has gone.  That actually is a very good question for us to ask ourselves on an annual basis—where exactly has the time gone?  Where has my time gone?  Just as any publicly traded corporation must publish an annual report to show their shareholders what transpired during the fiscal year, any wise entrepreneur will hold themselves accountable for the past year’s productivity.  And to take that thought one step further, anyone, whether in business or not, who wants to accomplish great things and take advantage of all of the gifts God gave them during their lifetime, would perform their own personal annual review to assess whether or not they are on track to achieve those goals and dreams.

For complete details on how to conduct your own annual review, see the 12/24/08 edition of Digging Deeper in the online archives. But before you take a look at the big picture, I’d like for us to put on our micro-managing hat for a few minutes and really inspect the smaller picture.  Get out your microscope, because today we are going to dig deep into the small details of where exactly our time goes.

Do you ever fall into the common trap of working hard and feeling busy, only to have little or nothing to show for your efforts at the end of the day?  I think we’ve all been there more often than we would like to admit.  And the problem only compounds itself, because when we allow multiple days of running in place, they turn into weeks of nothing gained, which become entire months of making no progress that lead to years of getting nowhere.  This is why it’s so important to analyze both the big and small picture separately and then use them together to create a powerful life.  The big picture helps keep your sights set on where you want to go, and the small picture empowers you to actually create that big picture through the daily monotony of life.

It’s been said that champions are motivated by their dream but created by their routine.  Truer words were never spoken.  Many people dream of winning an Olympic medal, but few actually develop the routine to take them there.  Many people dream of making a name for themselves, but few people are willing to create the success habits, do the work, and take the risks to make it possible.  Many people want to create success and wealth in their own life, but few implement a plan and stick with it long enough to achieve it.  As we have all heard at least a thousand times before, success in life isn’t for the chosen few—it’s for the few who choose.  So, how do we become one of “the few” that moves beyond the stages of wishing, hoping, and dreaming into actually creating and living that life?  Of course, that is the million dollar question, but let’s address it today in terms of the daily routine that creates that dream.  You might be excited to know that the daily management of your routine is really quite simple.  All we need to do is ask ourselves two simple questions:

1. 1. Am I putting in enough time to reach my goal within the timeframe I’ve chosen?
2. 2. Am I doing the right things with that time?

Let’s look at the first question.  Addressing the amount of time you want to devote to your business, dream, or goal is totally up to you.  But I would encourage you to take a good hard look at how long the realization of your dream will take with your allotted hours.  If putting in a few extra hours each week would shave a few years off the finish line, it might be worth looking in to.  Also, keep in mind that balance is different for everyone.  What kind of schedule keeps you most energized?  It doesn’t matter what your friends, family, neighbors, or peers are doing.  They may all have different perceptions of the word balance, but more than likely they really haven’t given it much thought at all.  The average family today just lives in response to adult peer pressure (in other words, what they see or assume that all the people around them are doing, whether or not they ever stop to evaluate if it’s actually the best thing for their family, or if they even want to be doing those things to begin with), so be careful what you’re using as your benchmark.  The main point here is to avoid the frustration that comes from trying to live someone else’s balance.

And don’t forget, you must carefully track the time you’re putting in each week to ensure that you are in fact devoting the amount of time that you think you are.  Many of the people I’ve coached have been shocked when they got serious about tracking their time.  Many of them who thought they were easily working 40-50 hour weeks were maybe putting in 20 hours toward their goal on the high end.  So before you assume that would never happen to you, just track to be sure.

OK, let’s move to the second question we must ask ourselves: Am I doing the right things with the time I’m devoting to my goal?  In other words, are you properly aligning your time with the activities that will produce your desired end result? The dictionary describes “alignment” as the “positioning of something for proper performance”.  As I go throughout my day, I’ve made a habit of constantly asking myself the questions, “Is what I’m about to do taking my closer to my goal?  Am I properly aligning my time with the specific activities that will produce my desired end result?”  And if the answer is no, then I must find a way to either release them altogether, delegate them to someone else, or at the very least minimize the amount of time and effort I invest in those areas.

Here’s an illustration that I’ve shared with you before.  A while back, we took my car in for a tune-up only to find out that I was in desperate need of a front-end alignment.  This procedure lines up the direction of the wheels so that the vehicle is pointed in a straight line and goes where the driver wants it to go.  This tune-up is sometimes needed because when an automobile is out of alignment, it can quickly wear down the tread of a tire and can cause a “pull” in one direction, which can obviously become very dangerous.  In that instance, even though the driver has a specific destination in mind, and she wants to get there as quickly and safely as possible, there could be forces at work against her that she isn’t even aware of.  These hidden problems could be causing her minor irritants in her journey, such as constantly pulling her car to one direction while she’s driving.  Or they could explode into life-threatening situations in the blink of an eye with something disastrous like a blow-out.  So, how do you do your best to prevent either one of these circumstances from happening?  With regular maintenance and tune-ups, of course.

I can now see that my own personal daily management and alignment of my time literally determines my annual income.  When I allow myself to take the easy route of coasting on maintenance mode, then my income stalls and my results are at major risk of a disastrous blow-out.  But when I force myself to exercise self-control and switch gears to “growth mode”, I make the on-purpose choice to really align my time with the results I want to produce, and the difference is shocking.  The work is more rewarding, the time I invest actually pays off, and every area of my life seems to ride more smoothly like a well-oiled machine after a much needed tune-up.  Are you in need of an alignment today?  If so, make an appointment with yourself right away to inspect your situation and get yourself back on track in no time!  Your time is too valuable and life is too short to risk a major blowout.

Have a blessed, safe, and truly wonderful Thanksgiving holiday!

Visit us on the web at www.allisonlamarronline.com

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Entrepreneur’s Guide to a Victorious Holiday Season

Digging Deeper with Allison LaMarr…

As you read this edition of Digging Deeper, James and I are enjoying some much-needed R&R on the beaches of Mexico’s Mayan Riviera.  While preparing for our trip – up until the moment we took our seats on the plane – I was reminded at least a dozen times that Murphy’s Law is still in full effect in our universe.  Yes, the one that says everything that can go wrong will – no matter how hard you work to minimize the drama. Just to share one small example with you…we were at the Houston airport standing in the security line gloating over all of the “spare” time we would have at the gate, which is a rare luxury in our household (James missed two flights last week alone), when we got a frantic call from my mother.  She had graciously agreed to drive over from Southeast Texas and meet us in Houston to pick up JD and save us 4 hours of drive time.  Well, long story short, when she stopped to change his diaper on the way out of the airport, she opened his suitcase only to find that it wasn’t his suitcase at all.  Apparently, we had checked JD’s suitcase full of diapers, onesies, and bath toys to Mexico while leaving our suitcase in the car with my mom. At this point, we were already passed the international travel cut-off to check bags and JD’s suitcase was already sitting in the belly of the Mexico-bound plane.  But thanks to the favor of God and Continental Airlines, we actually got JD’s suitcase off the plane and our suitcase onto the plane.  As we collapsed into our seats after the averted crisis, I had never been so grateful for first class in my entire life.

 

But, why I am I sharing this with you? Because I have a feeling that you can relate to the chaos that is my life.  I have a feeling that I’m not the only one who gets 3 hours of sleep the night before vacation just to get myself to vacation.  And, as we face the final four days of our 90 Day Victory Challenge, I have a feeling that Murphy’s Law has reared its ugly head to many of you more than once during this journey in a desperate attempt to wreak havoc on your commitment to personal excellence.  So, before we even jump into today’s topic, I want to quickly speak directly to those of you who stuck with us through all 90 days of the victory challenge.
90 days ago I asked you to identify the one area of your life that you most wanted to change and improve.  I challenged you to set a goal for how you would improve that area over these 90 days, and then I asked you to “weigh in” daily on your progress.  From my best estimates, we had approximately 3000 people start the challenge with us across 6 or 7 different countries.  What I want to hear from you now is this: who finished the challenge?  This doesn’t mean that you had to accomplish every goal that you set for yourself 100%, but it does mean that you didn’t throw in the towel and give up on yourself somewhere along the way.  If you stuck with us throughout the 90 day program, I want to hear from you.  I want to hear your insights and lessons learned.  Lessons learned about yourself, about commitment, about falling on your face and getting back up again, about emotional roller coasters, physical setbacks, and the reality of life.  I want to hear about your victories and successes, whether they were tangible or abstract.  And I want to hear about where you’ll go from here.  So, send me an email to diggingdeeper@allisonlamarronline.com, or you can post your thoughts directly onto my Facebook wall.  We will compile all of your feedback, and you may even see some of your own words in a future Digging Deeper edition.

 

But remember…you still have 3 more days left in our 90 Day Victory Challenge!  It’s not the 87 Day Victory Challenge, so unless you are a quitter and shortcut-taker, don’t stop now.  Whatever you do, don’t stop 3 inches short of the finish line. Remember, being a “finisher” is a character trait.  You’re either someone who finishes the things you start – or you’re not. It’s a choice.  And the way you do anything in life is the way you’ll do everything in life.  I don’t care if you have to crawl across that finish line, it’s better to crawl to the finish line than never cross it at all.  So, I’ll look for your feedback over the next week, and I can’t wait to celebrate your victories, triumphs, and lessons learned.

 

Now, as promised last week, I’d like to dedicate the remainder of today’s edition to an “Entrepreneur’s Guide to a Victorious Holiday Season”.  Last week we discussed a Holiday Survival Kit, and we outlined several steps to fulfillment throughout the holidays.  These steps included 1) Carve out time for thanks and worship, 2) Make a list of all the things you want to do during the holiday season, 3) Schedule those things into your calendar, 4) Create a budget, 5) Give back, and 6) Perform an annual review.  If you missed the edition for any reason, you can view it below.  But the reason I want to speak to entrepreneurs separately today is because you have a unique situation that exempts you from the rules that applied in last week’s column.  If you’ll remember with me, we started off last week’s Holiday Survival Kit discussion with the question, “Within your existing parameters, what would the ‘perfect’ holiday season look like for you?”  But, here’s the deal: when you control your income, you can actually change your parameters instead of just settling for your existing ones if you don’t like them.  So, let’s take a look at how we can use our business opportunities as a way to actually provide the holiday season we really want.

 

I know I’ve shared this with you before, but the reason I coach entrepreneurs is because when you own your own business, you really do own your own life.  Otherwise, it’s easy to slip into a trap of giving your best 40-60 hours per week to someone else while having to fit the things that are actually most important to you in any “left-over” time.  The freedom that comes with running your own business is one of the biggest reasons people leave traditional jobs to work for themselves.  You can determine your own hours, and you can determine your own income, instead of having them predetermined for you. But, with privilege comes responsibility.  It’s not a free-for-all.  You didn’t win the lottery, and you’re not a trust fund baby.  So, you must put in the work in order to reap the rewards associated with entrepreneurship.  In fact, many “aspiring” entrepreneurs don’t last as entrepreneurs for very long, because they are unwilling to develop and master the skills of self-imposed accountability, discipline, and structure.  Remember, if you can’t learn to discipline yourself, you’ll wind up back in a job where someone else gets paid to hold you accountable faster than you can even say the word “entrepreneur”.

 

In relation to the holiday season specifically, here are my suggestions on how to max out your business opportunities while still fully indulging in all of the holiday excitement with your family and friends.  Your plan will be only slightly different than that of our traditional working friends. It’s time to get out your pencil, paper, and calculator.  First, start with the end in mind.  Make your holiday wish list of all the things you want to do, purchase, and give this season, and then assign a price tag to each item to come up with your total “holiday dream budget”.  Second, add this amount to your standard monthly budget to see the grand total you will need to bring in from your business this holiday season.   Third, you’re going to do a little brainstorming and strategizing with your business numbers. Exactly what would it take to bring in those numbers from your business in November and December?  Every business has a business plan, so if you know your business plan, you should be able to sit down and calculate exactly how to create that desired revenue by working backward through the business plan.  This is a very important step, because you will never outperform your own beliefs about yourself, and if you don’t see that your goal is even possible on paper, it is very unlikely that this amount of abundance will just accidentally materialize itself into your life over the next couple of months.  Fourth, grab your calendar.  Take a look at the next six weeks and block out time for the major holiday events you’ll be participating in with your family. Then pencil in the “work” time. How many appointments will you need to hold, how many clients will you need to see, and how many new prospects will you need to visit in order to meet your projected numbers?  Then go back in and add in all of the fun “extras” that you want to do this season.  This order is extremely important.  If you wait and try to squeeze your business into the “left-over” time, there will never be any “left-over” time.  But if you follow this order, you will find that it actually is possible to make money and cookies this Christmas season!

 

With the right combination of vision, strategy, proactive planning, work ethic, and structure, you can create abundance for your family and experience all of the joy and fulfillment that this special season holds.  Very simply, that is your “Entrepreneur’s Guide to a Victorious Holiday Season”.  You’ve got all of the tools you need.  Now get out there and fight for what you want, instead of just settling for what you can get!

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Holiday Survival Kit!

Digging Deeper with Allison LaMarr…

Happy Veterans Day!  To all of our soldiers, both former and current, please accept our sincere gratitude for your noble, courageous, and honorable service to our country.  I hope you can feel our prayers for you, today and every day.  May God protect you and bless your families for your combined sacrifice.  We’re humbly aware that your entire family really does sacrifice—the soldier who serves, plus the family who must be willing to give up precious time away from their loved one—in order to serve our country.  Thanks again from all of us – we are deeply grateful.

As we approach mid-November, one thing is clear.  If you turn on the TV, take a trip to the mall, or walk into any retail establishment, it’s hard to miss the fact that the Holidays are upon us once again.  Since we’ve been discussing the topic of mastering our time a great deal recently, I’d like to do something I’ve actually never done before in Digging Deeper: I’m going to republish an updated edition of this e-column from last year.  The original column was written a week before Christmas last year, and we discussed how to maximize the second half of December with a Holiday Survival Kit.  Well, this year we’re going to get a head start on the hustle and bustle, and we’re going to design a “perfect” Holiday season – from Thanksgiving all the way through the New Year.

Let me start by asking you a question: Within your existing parameters, what would the “perfect” holiday season look like for you?  Most Americans have nostalgic ideals associated with this time of year, but we usually wind up after it’s all said and done wondering what happened, because the time flew so fast and everything was so crazy that we seemed to miss the magic of the season and miss the entire purpose of the holiday to begin with.  If you are a Christian, then this is a very special time where the whole world pauses each year to celebrate the birth of our Lord.  But no matter what your beliefs, most of us share visions of Santa Claus, buying gifts for one another, putting our own wish list together, a vacation from work school, eating festive foods, attending great parties, decorating the house, reliving childhood traditions, and spending time with relatives.  Sadly, the average American winds up somewhere around January 2, disappointed with their disillusionment over the holidays, because after all of the hustle and bustle, they have nothing but an extra 10 pounds and more pointless credit card debt to show for themselves.  But you are not the average American, which means that you don’t have to fall victim to that trap this year…so let’s dig out that survival kit!

Take a minute and brainstorm…what would be on your list of must-dos for a great Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year?  With a full seven weeks remaining in this holiday season, this is ‘perfect’ timing to create a GREAT holiday season for you and your family.  I have seven tools to share with you, five to carry you through Thanksgiving and Christmas, plus two to help you start the New Year off with a bang

Disclaimer: Only read this one if you are a Christian.  The rest are for everyone, so you can skip down to the next paragraph if this doesn’t apply to you. First of all, if you are a Believer, make sure to carve out time for thanks and worship.  Do you know that depression and suicide rates are higher during the holidays than any other time of year?  Isn’t that crazy?!?  But it makes sense, because it’s during this time of year that many people become painfully aware of the void in their lives but don’t know how to fill it.  We try to fill it with wordly things, like more stuff and more activities, but it doesn’t help us feel any more fulfilled.  If you are looking for an answer, Jesus says in John 10:10, “I have come so that you may have life and have it abundantly.”  Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  How would we all feel with a little more joy, peace, and hope in our lives?  Isn’t that what we all long for?  To sum it up, Acts 3:19 says, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord”.  I can’t think of anything we want more at the end of a year than a new, refreshed beginning, can you?  Now, once we’ve settled that issue and made sure to keep it at the top of our priority list, is there anything wrong with enjoying the other traditions of the Christmas season?  Of course not!  So, let’s keep going…

Make a list of all the things you want to do during the season. Some examples would include baking, decorating, visiting Santa, charity work or contributions, family time and pictures, watching holiday movies, other family traditions, etc.  I would also suggest that you involve your family in this exercise.  Ask your spouse, kids, or other loved ones what special things they want to do, and you might be surprised to learn which traditions mean the most to them.

Get out your calendar and carve them in*.  Remember, you have time for what you make time for.  Happiness is a choice.  Joy is a focus.  Slow down and create a different mood, atmosphere, & environment in your home.  (By the way, it doesn’t count if you become Mrs. Scrooge while trying to enforce this in your house!!)  At my house, we made a list of all our favorite holiday foods and then broke them down into weekly chunks…then I made a list of all my favorite Christmas movies, and we’re watching one a week while we eat our yummy goodies…it’s so fun!

Create a budget*!!  Include gifts, baking, donations, travel, everything.  When it comes to your gift shopping, make a list of everyone you have to purchase for.  Then look at your finances, come up with a total gift budget, and divide it up among your list of recipients.  DON’T GO OVER IT.  Here is a cost-savings idea: give coupons for quality time with you.  You could give the gift of a day helping your dad clean out the garage, for example.  You might be surprised at how well these are received!  Even if you have all the money in the world, it’s amazing how much more people value the gifts of time and service over just another trinket wrapped under the tree.

Give back.  This will bless you more, get you into the Christmas sprit more, and make you feel better about yourself and your own situation than anything else you could do.  Get involved…seek out ways to participate in outreach and help the less fortunate through your church or community.

And last but not least, here are two ways to get a jump start on the New Year:

Perform an annual review.  The week between Christmas and New Year is a great time to do this each year.  Look back at your life over the past year, what went well, what are you pleased with, what would you like to do differently this coming year, where would you like to be a year from now, etc.  Put a plan together!  For complete details on how to do this, see the 12/24/08 edition of Digging Deeper in the online archives.

Take January 2^nd as a vacation day, if at all possible.  Use it to clean up the holiday stuff, get organized, prepared, and ready to start the new year with a fresh state of mind!  If that particular date isn’t an option, pick another one.  The point is to carve out time to close one chapter before starting a new one.  Most people just hop right back into the rat race after the holidays and wonder why they don’t feel any better after the break.  Enjoy the New Year on the 1st, use the 2nd to reposition yourself, then start back to work on January 3rd…it will make all the difference in the world.

If you’ll follow these steps, you won’t just have a Holiday Survival Kit, you’ll have a Holiday Thriving Kit!!

*Next week’s edition of Digging Deeper will include special tips to entrepreneurs on creating abundance (in your calendar and bank account!!) during the holiday season.

Visit us on the web at www.allisonlamarronline.com

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Elmo, is that you?

Digging Deeper with Allison LaMarr…

This past week I was reminded of a very powerful lesson from my twenty month old son, and I’d like to share it with you today.  Elmo is my son’s favorite character.  He doesn’t watch television at all while he’s at home, but he absolutely hates riding in the car, so we save videos as a special treat that he gets from his car seat.  We’ve tried multiple DVDs to give him some variety, but he completely disregards anything but Elmo.  In fact, as we tell him that it’s time to go bye-bye, he is pointing toward the car ceiling and asking for Elmo before we can even get him strapped in.  Needless to say, James and I find ourselves singing along with all of the Elmo songs more than we’d like to admit.  And JD’s love for Elmo has grown way beyond a road-trip relationship.  His Elmo books and stuffed animal keep him company all throughout the day.  So, when it came time to select a Halloween costume, there was really no decision to be made at all.  Our little boy was going to finally live his dream after 20 long months on this earth.  He was going to become Elmo.

We searched far and wide for the perfect costume and finally found one online.  When it arrived in the mail, our whole house stopped to rip into the box and see if the costume met our expectations and held up to the “real” Elmo that we had come to know and love.  It did.  And JD was thrilled.  In fact, as we were taking Elmo out of all the packaging, JD was running in circles, flapping his hands and giggling in delight at his life-sized dream come true.  He kept giving him kisses and exclaiming “Elmo!” over and over again, as if he was being reunited with a long-lost friend.  So, we sat down on the floor and unzipped the costume to give it a whirl…and that’s when the mood shifted.

We had the costume pulled up to about shin-level when JD started saying, “Off. Off!” in his tiny little boy voice.  I convinced him to keep going, but as we shoved his arms through and zipped up the belly, JD was way past hesitation into absolute disdain.  So, you can imagine that pulling the headpiece up over his ears didn’t exactly thrill him.  That was the trigger that brought on the tears.  A look of panic swept over his face, and the kid went into hysterics.  I swept him up and ran him into our weight room so that I could plop him down in front of a full-length mirror.  I thought just maybe, if he could see Elmo, it might help him accept the transition a little better.  And, sure enough, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror between sobs and got really still to take a closer look.  He actually cocked his head to the side and managed to squeak out a sniffling “Elmo?”, as if to say, “Elmo?  Is that you?”  He was intrigued enough by the confusing image of “Elmo JD” looking back at him in the mirror to keep him distracted for a few moments, but the costume didn’t stay on long that first day.  Or any of the half a dozen other times we put him in it over the next month in failed attempts to warm him up to the idea of becoming Elmo.

I’m proud to say that we did manage to have a Happy Halloween with a happy little Elmo, but it was quite a process to make it happen.  Here are the six things that stood out to me as I watched my son live out his first little dream:

1. Stepping into your dream isn’t an automatic process.  It can be awkward and uncomfortable before your body (and mind) adjusts to the “new you”.  It can take a lot of work, and you might even break a sweat as you adjust to the heat of becoming the person you want to be.
2. JD wasn’t expecting his Elmo costume to be hot and stuffy.  We always like the look of a dream from the outside, but we’re not always so willing to put up with the heat long enough to experience the dream from the inside.
3. Human nature always rebels against parameters.  So as you begin to zip up the suit of the discipline that will be required to become your dream, your instincts will be to rip it off and break free.
4. It may take several attempts before you have your break-through.  Don’t quit when it doesn’t feel “right” or “natural” or “easy” the first time – or even the first fifteen times!  We knew JD had a desire to be Elmo inside him, but it took more than a few rounds to get JD inside Elmo.
5. Surround yourself with cheerleaders, not naysayers.  Your sphere of influence is very powerful, whether you recognize and acknowledge it or not.  Your dream is too fragile to withstand the poison of lazy, half-hearted skeptics or apathetic fair-weather fans.  Only listen to those who will believe in your success, stick with you to the finish line and cheer you on to victory.
6. The sacrifice will melt away on the day you get to stand tall and live your dream.  When trick-or-treat time finally rolled around, JD was still a little nervous as we suited him up.  But the look of pride in his eyes and glee on his face made it all worth while as he proudly waddled down the street after all the “other big kids” in their costumes.  As James put it, “There’s just something cute about a furry, red paw grabbing candy from a pumpkin for the very first time.”

Oh, and guess what?  Once you conquer your dream, it’s amazing what perspective you have in hindsight.  We left the Elmo costume in the kitchen for the rest of the weekend, and every time JD walked past, he would give it a little pat and say “ha-ppy”.  Of course, that was his way of saying “Happy Halloween” as the memories of his victory from the night before flashed through his mind.  Take it from little JD Elmo, don’t be left standing on the sidewalk when you could be right in the middle of the action, living your dream.

Visit us on the web at www.allisonlamarronline.com

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And Then Some

Digging Deeper with Allison LaMarr…

Before we get into today’s topic, I must share a quick side note with you.  We received more responses to last week’s edition, Put Up or Shut Up, than any other edition to date.  Honestly, I was both relieved and energized by your overflow of responses.  Relieved because I was bracing myself for resistance in response to my words, and energized by the masses of you who reminded me that we are all standing together in our desire to step it up a notch in our level of living.  Thank you for your feedback, and thank you for continuing to Dig Deeper with me each week!  OK, on to today’s discussion…

Are you familiar with the quote that says, “There’s never a traffic jam on the extra mile”?  Or, how about the phrase “and then some”?  What does “and then some” mean to you?  When I think of “the extra mile” combined with “and then some”, I think of what most of the world isn’t willing to do.  Remember, if we want to stop living like most people, we must stop acting like most people.  But, how do we do that?  And please don’t misunderstand me, there’s nothing insultingly wrong with most people.  Most people are well-meaning, hard-working, good-hearted people.  The only breakdown is that most people live out their days on this earth with a great degree of frustration.  They feel unfulfilled, unaccomplished, and unsure of their life’s purpose.

So, how could stepping into the “and then some” or walking that extra mile help catapult us into a life beyond our wildest imagination?  One of my mentors once told me that our “living small” serves no one.  I didn’t really understand what she meant at first, especially since there are plenty of great people who live a fairly quiet life in their own little corner of the world.  But I’ve since come to understand the difference between living a quiet life and living a small life.  A small life refers to small thinking and limited living.  We can come up with every reason under the sun to justify our half-hearted approach to life, but the truth is that our unwillingness or inability to play full-out is always characterized by lack.  Lack of belief, lack of gumption, lack of willingness, lack of energy, lack of awareness, lack of insight, lack of faith, lack of desire, and lack of confidence can all lead to a small life – a life that never sees the extra mile.

Let’s take a look at how becoming an “and then some” kind of person could compensate for any deficiencies we struggle with and bring us the rewarding life we so desire.  Doing the “and then some” will always payoff in big ways.  It will always bring a significant return on your investment – even if it’s sometimes immeasurable or even unnoticeable.  The principle applies in every arena of life.  Take your career, for example.  Are you diligent or half-hearted at work?  Whether you work for yourself or someone else, do you give 110% to your projects?  Are you truly seeking to apply your best effort, or are you just doing the job and going home?  You may have heard the phrase “under-promise and over-deliver”.  Instead, I think we should promise to give absolute excellence – superior service – and then still strive to out-perform the expectations.  Whether you’re working for a client, a boss, a patient, or a student, are you seeking to execute with unmatched service?

Oftentimes, “I did my best” is a cop out.  It’s an excuse we throw down when our performance didn’t cut it.  But I learned several years ago that there is a difference in doing your best and doing whatever it takes.  When we step into whatever it takes mode, we’re willing to seek out new, different, and better solutions to get the job done – and done well.  Even if it means swallowing your pride, burning the midnight oil, or eating a few dollars of profit in the short-term, it will always payoff on the long-term.  Remember, you will never get the promotion until you’ve outgrown your current position and your current level of character.  And the character development must precede the performance that precedes the promotion.  In your world, it could mean a promotion up the career path, up to a bigger client deal, or up to an expanded business.  But those who aren’t willing to play full-out, lay it all on the line, and go the extra mile with their service are never going to experience an abundant harvest.  They’re going to collect their paycheck, go home, and wonder why they can’t seem to catch a “lucky break”.

How about with your spouse?  Or your kids?  Or your finances?  What would living as an “and then some” kind of person do for each of these areas of your life?  You would create richer relationships with everyone around you.  You would be diligent with your financial planning instead of spending your paycheck reactively.  In dealing with others, an “and then some” kind of person would go out of their way to keep their word.  Yes, even in the little things, even when you’re tired, even when it’s inconvenient, and even when you’d rather go home and collapse after a long day.  Living in the extra mile means that you’re willing to be inconvenienced, do the right thing, put others first, and proactively seek out ways to live in excellence.  Living in the extra mile means that you don’t only reciprocate kindness when it’s shown to you.  Instead, you initiate kindness – without expecting anything in return.

Guess what happens when you purposefully choose to become this kind of “and then some” person every single day?  People want to be around you!  As you create an “extra mile” reputation, people will begin to seek you out.  Someone who lives in excellence, honors their commitments, and seeks out ways to add value to others becomes a highly sought after individual.  This approach to life can bring you more good friends than you’ve ever known, more rewarding family relationships than you ever thought possible, and even produce professional payoff in ways you never imagined.

But guess what else?  This type of living doesn’t typically come naturally to anyone.  No, human nature is to put ourselves first.  We have a self-centered approach to life and we very infrequently consider how our words, actions, and diligence (or lack thereof) impact others.  We don’t understand that our half-hearted effort on a daily basis is robbing us of the rich rewards we so greatly desire.  And we don’t understand that we can change it all with the simple flip of a switch.  Think of it as a mental switch that triggers a mental muscle.  It’s the muscle that makes you aware of the “and then some” and gives you the strength to walk the extra mile.  As with any muscle, the more you work it, the stronger it becomes.  And then the muscle starts to kick in naturally, so that this new full-out approach to life becomes second nature.  And the most amazing phenomenon begins to take place in your life: the more you give, the more you have.  It’s a well that never runs dry.  Because the energy you give out comes back to you tenfold.

So, walk the extra mile to deliver excellence – with a smile – to everyone in your circle of influence.  Put down the Blackberry and read a book with your kids.  Turn off the TV and have a conversation with your spouse.  Extend the courtesy of an RSVP when you receive an invitation.  Show up at the shower or party like you said you were going to.  Say “thank you” to the busboy who refills your water glass in the restaurant.  Get up and get to church on Sunday morning even when you’re exhausted.  Smile and say a kind word to the having-a-bad-day airport personnel.  It’s amazing how these small, simple choices can set you apart from the rest of the world as you begin to implement them as common practice.  Just try it this week – see what happens.  Watch how people will begin to notice and treat you differently.  And watch how fulfilled, energized, and gratified you will become in absolutely no time at all.

Visit us on the web at www.allisonlamarronline.com

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Put Up or Shut Up

Digging Deeper with Allison LaMarr…

Today we’re going to address our dreams – and why most of us haven’t reached them yet.  As many of us head into the final month of our 90 Day Challenge, we must take a good hard look at what will be required to reach our desired finish line.  Thousands of participants across at least 6 countries began this challenge with us back in August.  Where is everyone now?  Some are ahead of their expectations, some are right on-target, and some are working hard to catch up or get back on track.  But if I were a betting woman, I’d place a handsome sum on the odds that most people have fizzled out by now.  I don’t say that to be negative, harsh, pessimistic, or accusing.  I’m simply making a quick assessment based on human nature.  Because when it comes to achievement and victory, here’s how human nature responds: “It’s too hard!  It’s not fair!  I gave it my best shot, but it didn’t seem to work out!  I guess I’m just not cut out for that.  Guess it wasn’t meant to be.  It’s just not me.”

But, guess what?  Life isn’t easy.  It never has been, it never will be, and it wasn’t intended to be.  We become discouraged when we expect to live on easy street with zero effort and the perfect life, because that will just never happen.  And we’re not willing to put forth consistent discipline and effort to fight for what’s most important to us, because it’s so easy to slip back into the mediocre mentality that the majority of our world operates in.  If we’re not careful, we find ourselves constantly frustrated simply as a result of not being fully committed to any one thing.  The path of least resistance never led to anywhere remarkable, yet it’s an overcrowded highway in our society.  On the other hand, the extra mile is a deserted one-lane road that leads to every dream you’ve ever dared to dream.

Can we be honest?  Speaking of dreams and goals, I am very aware that some of you are very disenchanted with yours right now.  You feel like you’ve hung on for as long as you can, and you’ve just about convinced yourself to cash in your chips.  You know what?  It might actually be easier to throw in the towel, tell yourself and everyone around you that you gave it your best, find a few friends in the same position as you are so that you can console each other and take the exit ramp together.  But you know what else?  If I were sitting right there across from you, face to face as your friend and “life excellence coach”, I would tell you that it’s my job to love you enough to not let you give up on your dream.  It’s my job to not let you give up on yourself – to not let you slip away quietly.  Sometimes that means that we have to address uncomfortable topics and be courageous enough to call a spade a spade.  As your friend, I will not apologize for expecting excellence from you, because I know you are capable of it, and I know you deserve it.  You may get mad at me for addressing such a sensitive topic with you, especially sense we’re not really used to candid conversations these days.  Society teaches spineless, mannerly talk over truth, so face-to-face frankness can be downright nerve-racking when we’re not accustomed to it.  But I think we could all agree on this point: I would much rather run the race of life with a few committed souls than with an army of half-hearted bystanders.

You may be standing at a crossroads in the pursuit of your dream.  If this is just a pointless game for you, another round of futilely going through the motions, than maybe it is time to call it quits.  But if there is even a glimmer of hope in your heart that you can find the passion, drive, commitment, and discipline that you know you’re capable of, I invite you to drive a stake in the ground, release the past, and run forward with me with a fresh vengeance.  It’s not too late to become who you want to be.  I once heard that the true test of a person’s character is determined by what it takes to stop him.  You can be a push-over, or you can choose to start over.  Who cares if you’ve flaked out 500 times in the past?  So long as you start over 501 times, you still end up with the victory.

There’s another group of you who are just beginning the challenge of marching toward your dream destination, and you may be scared to death based on what I just said.  You’re just now learning the ropes, feeling your way around, and trying to decide who you want to become on this great journey.  You may be looking around at everyone else, trying to decide what’s possible, and I’d like to share with you one of the best pieces of advice I ever received as a new leader, goal-setter, and risk-taker.  Early in my career, full of high hopes, dreams, and goals, I walked into a roomful of other, more established leaders – believing I could conquer the world in my new position.  I walked out of that meeting feeling completely disenchanted.  The nearly 100 present spent the meeting talking about their activities, announcing the scoreboard and celebrating the high achievers.  I was shocked at what I heard and saw.  The “norm” was so much lower than I would have expected – and it immediately made me doubt my ability to accomplish my goals.  I called my mentor after it was over to share how I was feeling, and her response was one of the most influential pieces of advice I’ve ever received.  She said, “Allison, you must always keep your eye on the prize.  Only take advice from people who you would be willing to trade places with.  Put your blinders on and focus on what you DO want, not on what you don’t want.”  I think about that conversation all the time, especially when I’m feeling discouraged and weak.  If you think you can do it, you will do it.  If you follow the crowd, you’ll get stuck in the middle of them.  Where do you want to be?  With the crowd at the bottom?  Or with the select few at the top?  Who you listen to, spend time with, follow and emulate will determine where you finish.  The choice is yours.

I want you to think of your goal as a test of will, because that’s exactly what it is.  For the 90 Day Victory Challenge, some of you set financial goals.  Some of you set fitness goals.  Some of you set family goals.  Many of you are entrepreneurs and you set business goals.  Regardless of which life lane you selected for this challenge, I want you to carefully consider who you’ve been allowing to influence your actions.  Would you ask for fitness or diet advice from someone who weighs 1000 pounds?  No.  Would you take financial advice from someone who has filed for bankruptcy multiple times without recovery?  Would you seek marriage counseling from a six-time divorcee?  I should hope not.  But guess what?  They all offer it.  You must CHOOSE who you allow to influence you – who you listen to.  It will determine the fate of your future – your life, not just your business or your body weight.

And for those of you who are currently experiencing success, taking full advantage of the tools and resources available to you, mastering your skills, and mastering your own personal discipline, I’d like to encourage you with a great story I heard several years ago about a poor, young kid who literally created himself into a multi-millionaire.  He was later interviewed and asked to what he attributed his success.  He answered with this: “I always go where I don’t want to go.  I always did what I didn’t want to do.”  In other words, he didn’t let what he wanted in the moment to stop him from what he wanted most. Ask any of your role models and mentors about their obstacles, hurdles, fears, and frustrations, and I’ll bet they’re just the same as ours.  Successful people are tempted to be lazy as much as everyone else, but they choose to remain disciplined instead.  They get tired, frustrated, and discouraged just like everyone else.  They have just as many failures and fears, if not more than everyone else, but they just refuse to be stopped by them.  So, keep going.  That one simple decision to keep going is the only daily decision that will get you to your finish line.  Have you seen any of the Rocky movies?  I’ll never forget what Rocky Balboa says during the heart of his training: “It’s not about how hard you can hit – it’s about how hard you can get hit and still keep going.”

The time is now.  It’s time to step up.  It’s time to put up or shut up.  Your family deserves it.  Your life is worth it.  You are worth it.

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