Digging Deeper with Allison LaMarr…
**Attention all 30 Day Sprint Participants:
Please see the bottom of this edition for an important update!**
Today we’re going to deviate from our typical conversation just slightly. Our conversation will still focus on the pursuit of excellence, but we’re going to analyze it from a different angle. Today we’re going to confront the uncomfortable discussion on how to maintain that pursuit when life gets tough. This conversation is specifically targeted to anyone and everyone who is dead set on achieving a life of ongoing excellence. As we all know, highly accomplished people don’t achieve success because they simply faced fewer obstacles along the way. On the contrary, many of the world’s most successful people dealt with more disasters and life-challenges than we would ever imagine. The difference is that they made a conscious choice and learned to press forward in spite of world-rocking obstacles. If we truly intend to achieve that same level of full-out excellence, then we must also prepare ourselves and learn how to rise above the bumps (and boulders) of life.
So, first of all, what exactly do I mean by “excellence”? My dictionary defines it this way: of superior virtue, high in repute. It originates from the Latin word “excelsis”, which means lofty. It could also mean “high, elevated, or lifted”. Different forms of the word include “excel” (to rise above) and “excellent” (outstanding or extraordinary in quality). As I’ve shared before, the antonym of excellence is just as telling (mediocrity). To state it simply, we are exploring what it means to live a life of extraordinary quality and rise above the mediocrity that threatens to cave in all around us. We are striving to become independently successful, financially stable, and emotionally healthy in order to wage war on mediocrity in our own corner of the world.
Along our journey, life will happen. And if we’re not careful, it can send us into a tailspin and totally derail us. At the end of the day, our purpose and vision must be stronger than our circumstances. But what happens when life all of a sudden gets ugly and you find yourself in the midst of heartache, heartbreak, loss, confusion, frustration, sorrow, anger, or grief? In these seasons of crisis, are we supposed to put on a happy face and continue in a machine-like manner? When the wind is knocked out of you, is it OK to take a time-out? And how long of a time-out is acceptable? Should we just forget about our original goals and plans for the time being and come back to them down the road after we’ve had sufficient time to re-group?
Our natural inclination would be to throw in the towel, cave, forget about, or at the very least, “take a break” from our quest for excellence. These are all tough questions, and I honestly don’t think there is one universal answer. I think we must all make these decisions personally. But I do think there is a “wise way” and a “reactionary way” to approach this decision. First of all, this isn’t a decision that anyone else can make for you. It must come from within, and you’re probably going to have to dig deep within to find the best truth.
Secondly, we must be aware that this is very likely one of those truly life-altering crossroads that we’ve stumbled upon. As Winston Churchill so eloquently stated, “To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour.” But let’s be honest, when we find ourselves at this particular crossroads, none of us is here by choice. This isn’t the type of defining moment we were hoping for, we would all gladly give it back, and we wish we could give it back with every fiber of our being. The gut-wrenching reality, however, is that we can’t undo it, we can’t press rewind, and we can’t make it go away. So, what do we do? How do we keep moving forward when all we want to do is crawl in a hole and ignore our new reality?
There is a tough-but-true saying that character isn’t created in adversity, it’s revealed in adversity. There’s also a biblical verse that says, “If you falter in times of trouble, how weak is your faith”. I’m not sure that any of us should be disillusioned to expect a stone-cold, emotionless response from ourselves. But I do believe that both of these wise admonitions can serve as a self-imposed benchmark for our behavior on how we strive to conduct ourselves as we work to catch our breath and regroup.
When your world has been shattered, or you’ve had to endure so much pressure, stress, or pain that you feel as if you might literally shatter into a thousand pieces, it’s actually a very natural feeling to want to cry out at God, shake your fists in the air, and demand some answers. Of course, if you believe in the Bible, you also know that God can handle it. We may never get an audible, clear answer that our finite mind can be satisfied with. In fact, we’re told that God set eternity in the heart of men, so there are some questions that we’re just going to have to hang onto until we can ask Him personally. But again, if you choose to believe in the Bible, you can eventually find a resolution to sustain you on this side of Heaven. While we may never get an answer we are happy with, we can find answers that provide a strange, but very real peace and contentment. It doesn’t necessarily make the pain go away, but it empowers us to find survival, then victory, and finally joy in spite of the pain.
You see, life will never slow down enough for us to get it together. Life will never allow us a “pause” button while we get caught up. So, we each make a few decisions as to how we’ll proceed from this crossroad of crisis:
1. Do you need to take a time-out and allow yourself to heal? If so, what will best serve you during that time?
2. Is the impact, impression, or influence you’ll make on the people around you important to you during this time? If so, what do you want your “message” to be? Not the message you verbally deliver, but the message you send through your character and choices.
3. Can your current goals and pursuits afford to be put on hold, or are they bigger than your crisis?
4. When the dust settles and you can look back on this season, how do you want to have handled it?
Let me say again, there is no right or wrong answer to these questions, and only you can answer them for yourself. This isn’t a pass or fail test, and it isn’t a cruel joke. It is, however, a matter of who you want to be when you are tested. Like the Psalmist says, “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.” Put another way, “Those who plant their crops in despair will shout hurrahs at the harvest.”
I believe in the ministry of daily life, and I also believe in the trap of self-pity. I believe that one day we will each be called to give an account of what we’ve done with what we’ve been given. On that day, we won’t be able to point fingers or start any defense with the word, “But…!”. I believe that each of us has access to all of the strength we need through our Infinite Well that never runs dry. If we will tap into that source of strength, allow it to carry us when we can’t even seem to put one foot in front of the other, allow it to heal us, and allow it to sustain us, our darkest hours can become a beacon of light, hope, and strength to people around us in ways we never dreamed possible. But if we take the path of self-pity it becomes a suffocating boa constrictor that can’t ever squeeze tightly enough to be satisfied.
Yes, it is perfectly acceptable, and in fact highly encouraged that we take the necessary time we need to mourn, grieve, heal, catch our breath, and then reposition ourselves for life with our new reality. But we must each decide, how long is appropriate, how long is too long, what does “healthy healing” look like, and what is total sabotage? Is it OK to cry, kick, scream, and want to crawl up inside your own shell? Yes. But eventually, it will be time to come out, amidst the tears and find the strength that is waiting for you.
And, you know what else? It doesn’t always take a full-blown life crisis to make us feel this way. “Crisis” can be a relative term, and sometimes we can even feel guilty that we’re letting a particular challenge knock us down so badly, when there is so much other hurt and “worse” pain in the world. But the reality of other pain doesn’t necessarily make ours any easier to swallow. So, whether you’ve had to face an excruciatingly hard day, month, or year – or whether you’ve experienced true grief like no one should have to handle, the path to reemergence can be the same. It will be a defining moment. But, we must each decide, am I going to let this circumstance defeat me? Or will I slowly allow it to propel me into the person I was created to be? Will this be the end of my story, or the beginning of a whole new chapter?
You know, this isn’t anywhere close to an uplifting, pleasant, exciting, or exhilarating topic. But sometimes, if we desire excellence in it’s purest and truest form, we must be willing to have these tough conversations with ourselves – the conversations that are easier to sweep under the carpet or just ignore altogether. The Pollyanna approach may be prettier, but dealing with life head-on will always get us further. And that is what I want for all of us – victory, when it’s all said and done. Even when it hurts, even when it’s inconvenient, even when it means we have to take the gloves off and fight with every ounce of fight we’ve got in us. So, bring on the fight if you need to. Because you are worth it.
30 Day Sprint Update
Hello Sprinters! I am truly blown away by the response and participation during this first week of our challenge. Remember, many a race is won at the starting gate, so these first few days are very important to your final outcome. Today you are already 10% of the way through your sprint. Take a quick moment to measure your activity versus your plan so far. What is going well, and what needs adjusting? During a sprint, you cannot afford to punt to tomorrow. You must be disciplined to make each today count. Don’t allow yourself to be defeated or fall behind. Both of those are just emotional traps of human nature that will keep you stuck in the status quo. It’s OK to feel fear or pressure – they are both very real indications that you are pushing past your comfort zone. So accept those feelings as affirmation that you are on the right path and keep leaning into your goal.
Also, it’s not too late to join us! This challenge is open to anyone…just pick your area of focus, grab a power partner, and hop right in. (Click here if you’d like to read the background and details of the 30 Day Sprint.) The key is daily accountability through your daily post to my Facebook Wall. (Remember, private messages to my Facebook Inbox are NOT read.)
One last thing…unfortunately Facebook has a limit of 5000 friends. I am very grateful to have that number of you Digging Deeper with me, but I don’t want to have a limit on what we can do! The best solution is my new Facebook “Fan Page”. Now, I am SO not a “fan” of the name of this feature, as I think sounds extremely vain to have something called a “fan page”. But it is definitely the best tool around to communicate & stay in touch with all of my friends – YOU! That being said, please click the link below and choose “Become a Fan” even if you are already my Facebook friend. Effective immediately, the 30 Day Sprint will be switched to my new Facebook Fan Page, so I look forward to seeing your updates there!
Allison LaMarr on Facebook
Visit us on the web at www.allisonlamarronline.com
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